The Myth of the Soul Mate
“I just want him to find me,” my client sobbed. “I’ve been waiting forever to find my soulmate. Where is he?”
This is something I have to explain to clients and friends usually more than once. There is no such thing as a soulmate. The idea comes from the Ancient Greek myth that Plato has Aristophanes write about. In the myth, Zeus originally creates humankind as a sort of conjoined fraternal twin. Each person was originally formed as a man facing right and a woman facing left, joined at the spine and sharing a two-faced head. Grotesque, right?
The myth is complicated, and I won’t do a compete retelling here. Suffice to say that Zeus feared the four-legged, four-armed, two-faced people and split them apart so they would always fight each other and not the gods. The idea was to distract the humans so they would constantly be searching for their other half, longing to be whole once again. Did it work?
The idea that there is “one true love” out there somewhere for each of us, is an immature concept overly developed by the likes of Disney, Grimm, and The Bachelor series. The truth is much more complicated and begins a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
Before time began there was the singularity of consciousness, the great “I Am.” The singularity desired to know itself, but without contrast had no reflection. What is darkness without light? One cannot be known without the other. The singularity split into two so it could take a good long look at itself. Then those two split into two. Soon, there were eight aspects of the singularity. These eight aspects roughly correspond to our eight main chakras, or energy centers.
Everything in creation has the seven main chakras: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and the crown. The eighth chakra is actually the root chakra of our next higher self. The Earth has seven chakras. Our Earth Star chakra, which is about four inches below the soles of our feet, is actually the eighth chakra of the Earth.
These eight original aspects of the singularity continue to divide themselves into souls that inhabit physical forms, in our case to experience humanity. These concepts are obviously more comprehensive than what I’m portraying here. What I want to highlight is the idea of soulmates.
If you share the same monad as another soul experiencing humanity, they are your soulmate. Are you going to engage in a Disneyesque romantic fantasy with them? I would hope not. So that’s the technical side of sharing a soul connection with someone else. You might understand each other on a level that’s hard to articulate. You might just “get” each other and feel you’re on the same wavelength. Those perceptions may be correct, but it doesn’t mean that person automatically is someone you should invest in a relationship, or even a friendship.
When we plan our lifetimes on Earth, there are always other souls who participate. There the ones who agree to play the part of our adversary, usually a sibling, or sometimes a parent. There are souls who agree to be our playmates, classmates, friends, and lovers. Everyone is our teacher in some way.
We come into the lifetimes that we design to struggle through the contrast so that we can learn, and grow, and make our way back to the divine. Along the way, we may choose to experience romantic love with someone new, or with someone familiar. I cannot tell you how many clients I’ve had who’ve said things like “I just knew” when they first met their husband, wife, or life partner. Some couples choose to find each other lifetime after lifetime, other couples have been comrades, working and fighting alongside each other for lifetimes. One couple I know met in a lifetime where he was her Vicar and advised her stay in an abusive marriage. Now in this lifetime, he chose to be her husband so he could help her heal from that abuse and to reconcile the advice he gave.
The concept of the one true love is a myth. There are so many people in each of our lifetimes with whom we are compatible. It’s our shared values that give relationships strength, not just shared interests. If you buy into the idea that there is only one other person in this lifetime with whom you can experience romantic love, then you are cheating yourself out of who knows how many chances for happiness and fulfillment. If you are in tears and despair because “the one” hasn’t shown up, then you need to be reminded that you are the one you’ve been waiting for. I know that sounds like some weak bumper-sticker religion, but it’s the truth.
If you aren’t experiencing the relationship you think you need or want, then you are the reason why. Inner work needs to be done so that you can discover what blocks and restrictions you have activated that are preventing you from being a vibrational match to the romantic love experience you’re desiring.
Everyone needs love. Everyone wants love. Everyone deserves love. If you are seeking love, then love is seeking you. Be sure you’re in the right frame of mind and vibrational match so that you can receive the love you want. When we cry “they’re not here, where are they?” then we are in a vibration of loss and lack and will only receive more loss and lack. We need to clear our blocks and restrictions so that we are open to receiving love. We can start by replacing the myth of the soulmate and the one true love with the idea that love is everywhere and love wants each of us.
